Powerful Promises

3432 hours = 143 days = 20 weeks. That's how long it's been since my last post and I've really missed writing them! So I've decided to spend some energy today writing on here again.

Just last week I was driving home and it was the sunniest it had been in a while. I was travelling along the all too familiar 15 mile stretch of motorway, usually so mundane, and yet the sun was lifting my mood. I felt good. Then the rain came - out of nowhere. It poured down so hard and fast that the lorries around me created a mist that mimicked a foggy night in the middle of winter. Sticking to my lane, sandwiched by lorries, I had no choice but to turn my fog lights on so that my little car could be seen. I was taken aback by this sudden turn in the weather. Where had it all come from? Then came the hail, each tiny pebble of ice hitting the ground in front of me and bouncing upwards with no predictable direction. What was happening? My drive had started so pleasant, so blissful and yet here I was driving through the rain and mist and now the hail too. 
I kept my eyes on the road ahead of me, uncertain of when the hail would let off and when I'd be able to increase my speed again. A few colours started dancing around at the back of the lorry next to me, catching my eye. Where were they coming from? And then they moved. They were in front of my car. A tiny rainbow, I realised. The sun must've been shining through the clouds again, hitting the mist in front of my car in just the perfect way to give me a little light show in amongst this miserable weather. I couldn't watch for long, though, because I needed to stay focussed on the drive.
As I continued off the motorway and down the country lanes to my home I pondered on the significance of this rainbow. I was at the end of it, perhaps the gold at the end of the rainbow? It felt like there was more to it than that; there was more to discover.  Promises.  Rainbows are a symbol of God's promise never to flood the Earth again - that's not His only promise, though. As I lay here writing this post, lacking any and all energy for the day ahead of me, I have realised that I was reciting the lyrics to a song (just hours before this rainbow glistened in the mist that was covering road ahead of me) with one of the girls in the after school club I run:
"The rainbows in the sky to show God's promises are true. The rainbows in the sky to show the world He's the only way, for your everyday"
So, what are God's promises for everyone?

And there are so many more! Keep looking for those promises today, tomorrow, this week, this year. And hold onto them. Recently, I was told of an amazing lady who has written down all of the promises of God that are in the Bible onto small strips of paper and put them in a jar. Each morning she grabs a handful of them and puts them in her pocket. Throughout each day she reaches into her pocket and reads the promise that God has for her. This is such an amazing way to live life secure in His promises.
So today I'm remembering that God has so many promises for me, and these are just a few of them.
H E   I S   M Y   S T R E N G T H “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31 H E   C A R E S   F O R   M E “Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 H E   K N O W S   M Y   P A T H “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
What promises is God highlighting to you today? 
Amy xo

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Storage Almost Full

Picture from Google

Have you ever seen this warning message? If you're an Android user, it's likely you've seen various other messages; 'insufficient storage available', 'storage space running low', 'low on space', etc.

If you have seen this message more than a few times it's perhaps likely that you're like me. You hold onto photos and videos too long before moving them to the cloud or Dropbox, and/or you have apps on your phone that are barely used but 'might come in handy one day'. I also like my music, as much as I can fit is downloaded onto my phone.

When I see this message pop up I click 'done' every time. Rarely have I clicked 'settings' and got to the root of the problem. But then my phone starts freezing on the unlock screen and I panic each time that maybe, just maybe, I've pushed my little phone too far. When it unfreezes and I get in to read my messages I sigh a sigh of relief. But I don't delete those photos I've been meaning to delete because, for now at least, my phone is still functioning - albeit not at it's best.

I began to notice a few months ago that I was treating my body much the same; holding onto things that I could let go of. If you've not read my previous posts and don't know much about me, I'll sum it up for you: I live in one beautiful town during the week with a lovely couple, a puppy, and a tortoise (he's my roommate). At the weekends I return to the town where I grew up to spend time with my family and friends. In my 'spare time' I am known for running monthly worship events and summer camps, organising fundraising activities for Mexico, and getting groups of people together for a drink or two.  

"If anyone serves they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Christ Jesus." 1 Peter 4:11

"With God's power working in us, God can do much, much more than anything we can ask or think of" Ephesians 3:20

These are dangerous verses. Mostly because they are true - we have God on our side and we can do more than we could ever imagine through His strength. Great. Amazing. But when your workload becomes 'superhuman' and you just about get through each day knowing that you can sleep many hours that night, it's not sustainable.

I recently re-evaluated, following a bad few months health-wise, all that I was doing in my 'spare time' and what 'spare time' I actually had. See, in the summer these 'spare time' activities arose because 1. I had no job and 2. I wanted to spend time with my friends before we all separated in September. I had spare time to spend in abundance! Fast forward to December... I have a job that I love (9-4 Monday - Thursday) which, with my health as it stands, equates to a normal person's 9-5 Monday - Friday. I'm living with a new family who I'm loving getting to know. I'm going home at weekends to spend precious time with my family. A non-busy weekend day in my life might look a bit like this at the moment: a few hours at church, cooking lunch with my dad, creating a poster with mum for a campaign, seeing some friends at their new house - cooking them dinner and playing games all evening. When I told a friend that that was my chilled day he was shocked. *ping* 'storage almost full' ignored again.

I'm in the process of learning what it's like to be not-busy and stay not-busy. When I first began to get not-busy I filled it with seeing people that I otherwise wouldn't have had time to see. Then I became busy again but busy with new and exciting things. Note to self: must keep trying to stay 'not-busy' for a while.

You might be pleased to know that I have released the monthly worship nights into the hands of a great team of youth leaders and my almighty God. Because "He who has started a good work is faithful and just to complete it" (ref. Philippians 1:6). This was not a decision that I took lightly because I really didn't want to let go but my storage is almost full so I had to hit 'delete'. I'll still visit and play a part from a distance, but a part that isn't taking up storage space in my life. I have also passed the Mexico fundraising baton to the other leaders whilst they run their part in the team race. Another app deleted.

In essence, I have hit 'factory data reset' - leaving only the vital apps in tact. First, I'll get to know my body in this state. Then I'll look at downloading a new app or two into my life. For now I'm in no rush.

"Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads. I will give you rest. Accept my work and learn from me. I am gentle and humble in spirit. And you will find rest for your souls. The work that I ask you to accept is easy. The load I give you to carry is not heavy." Matthew 11:28-30

So, this month, I'm focussing on:

- Family

- Friendships

- God as my first love

- Work

- Colleagues

- Strengthening my body physically to overcome my disability

Out with the old stuff and in with the new nothing!

Cool,

Cheers for reading!

Amy xo

The BIG Move!

So, I did it. I moved out.  ...sort of. Following a new job position, I have packed up and moved homes to a different town during the week. From Sunday night to Friday afternoon every week I will be at my new home, whilst coming back to see my family at weekends.

Image source: Google

If you were to tell me 5 years ago that this was coming I'd have run into my mummy's arms screaming 'please don't let me go!' In fact, if you'd have told me this 6 months ago I'm not sure that my reaction would have been too dissimilar from that! But still, here I am.
When I ponder how I ended up here, it's a pretty amazing story* (see the end of the post for the details). If you don't fancy reading the ins and outs of my 'adventurous' life then trust me when I say that so many loose ends have fused together this summer in an explosion of love, faith, and excitement!

Not only has there been a BIG move in terms of accommodation, town, and job, there has also been a BIG move of God in my heart and mind. I've felt so much peace, entirely God-given, and I feel so blessed to be able to enjoy this season after a few seasons of disappointment and grieving.
I have taken that leap of faith so now I am reaping the rewards and it's such a beautiful process. If you find yourself right now in a season of doubt, distress, and fear - fear not! For He is with you, He is laying the path out ahead of you. In fact, the path is already laid, slowly and bit-by-bit He is illuminating that path to you. Do you have the courage to take the next step?
NEVER let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. What's keeping you from playing the game?

Take it to God, ask Him for help, ask Him for the specifics! He's waiting to give you what you need, and He loves to hear you speak to Him. No prayer is silly! I prayed with my parents that I wouldn't see a spider when looking around my new home and bedroom last week. Lo and behold I saw no spiders, and my first 36 hours here were spider free! When one joined me at work today, I was totally cool with it and let him sit on the beam next to me all day! If that's not a God-given peace then I don't know what is! Keep on asking and keep on trusting! Keep the faith. You can do this; He loves and cares for you.
Here's to many happy memories and encouraging challenges and so much joy!


* the ever-so-slightly-longer-and-more-explanatory story:
Born Started going to summer kids camps every year as a leader's child Got a sister Went to nursery Moved house Started school Attended Girl's Brigade Went to church Became house captain in year 6 Went as a youth to the summer kids camp, in my own dorm Started secondary school Moved church Started youth group Helped out with school community production/panto (4 years running) Started doing more talks at youth group Ran a charity campaign at school resulting in a 1000 balloon launch Spoke in assemblies at school Got baptised Took my GCSEs Got a piece of art selected for exhibition Became an older junior youth leader (helping to run clubs) Took my A-levels Ran a summer youth camp (4 day event) Became deputy community captain Ran the community panto show set design! A year-long internship: kids and youth work Ran another summer youth event (one whole day) Started up monthly youth worship nights (June 2016 onwards) Approached by my new work place Moved out Started my new job
My new job includes: running after-school clubs, running assemblies, youth mentoring, preparing Christmas panto (inc. set design), planning and being a leader at the summer kids camp (week long), doing prayer spaces in schools (arty space + prayer).
If you have a look at what I've done and what I'm now doing, you'll see that so many of my skills and so much of my experience is being utilised this year and for that I am so excited! There's so much more I could mention too; many more of my interests and hobbies come into play in my job for this academic year.

Yay! Be blessed, 
Amy xo

It's time to shine

Orbit Advert 2016

I was really uncertain whether to write and explore this blog post, let alone publish it. But in that indecisive moment I saw a chewing gum advert. "It's time to shine" boomed out from the TV. So, here I am. *I have no idea what chewing gum has to do with shining a light, though?*

Basically, this post is about my face. Read on. Over the past year, in particular the past 4 months, I've seen a real shift in my thought patterns towards my face. To give some context and explanation I'm going to use some examples. 2015: *wakes up for school*, *sees face in mirror*, *can't bare to look*, *covers it in make up*, *checks out face in mirror*, *thinks 'decent'*, *goes to school* Late 2015: *wakes up for school*, *too tired to look in mirror and put on face*, *goes to school*, *gets asked if I'm ill because I look really pale*, *wishes I put make up on*, *feels sad*

Image source: Google

Early 2016: *wakes up for work*, *sees face in mirror*, *thinks I'm doing the world a favour by covering up those bags under my eyes*, *puts make up on*, *feels like that was a lot of effort*, *envies the majority of the male species for not needing make up*, *goes to work* Late 2016: *wakes up for work*, *doesn't even look in mirror*, *goes to work*, *feels happy* Where did the shift happen?! Somewhere in 2016 I stopped seeing my face for all its flaws and started loving it for what it is. I've got a young face - granted I still get IDed for Strepsils, and they triple check my ID in Spoons, but when I'm 50 and looking 30 I'll be glad of it! At least I don't look old enough to get stopped in the streets to take surveys yet!

The point I'm really trying to get down to is that just a year ago I had so much dislike for my face and now I'm full of love for it! It's a fabulous feeling. From an artistic perspective I still love, love, love plastering my face in make-up and subtly contouring it into a different shape, adding eyeliner and finishing with lipstick until I reach Barbie status.

I absolutely love the 'imagination, life is your creation' line in Barbie's song. Life is all about imagining and creating! And something great about make up is the opportunity to imagine and create art on a real life face - it's art that moves and speaks.
I found very little freedom in forcing myself to wear make up every day, however. It became a time-consuming, mundane, unimaginative experience every morning. I was starting the day conforming to what I thought pleased others: a face with the least amount of flaws possible. But what I really owe the world is a happy face! A face that beams joy and light. At the moment I'm happiest without make up on when I'm out and about. I feel more myself and I'm without the added worry that an itchy eye will cause a smudged wing. I wish I knew the perfect formula for what shifted inside of me. I can only pinpoint it to an amazing God who created this face in the first place and an encouraging friend who speaks truth from her lips. She tells me I'm beautiful until I believe it, helps me to love myself when I'm not feeling it, and shows me I'm great when I don't see it. If you're fortunate enough to have one of these friends, hold on to him or her! Perhaps you are that friend to some people - keep going. If not, I'm telling you right now, yes you the one reading this, that you are beautiful in every single way! You were created by an almighty creator who doesn't make mistakes. You are amazing.  Read it until you believe it. It's true. You're so stunning. On Saturday night last week I went out to a party. With it being a party, we got dressed up, and I decided I was feeling creative. So I did my hair and make up. As soon as the make up was on, I wanted to take it off. I'd made the art, created something new, loved it, and then wanted my real face back. The face I had been wearing for the last 3 months was now hiding!  Upon returning from the party I was so happy to wash my face! It was one of the best feelings.

Saturday night's 'artwork'

Clean face, happy face

Please don't get me wrong here: if you wear make up and it's who you are then that's awesome! We love that about you too! If you don't wear make up and don't enjoy doing make up either and that's who you are, that's great! We love that about you too! See, we're all different. It turns out that wearing make-up isn't for me, in my life, right now. Contrary to what I thought it isn't even part of who I am. I'm much happier now that I've been encouraged to fall in love with my bare face. I think that's about it for now,  Amy xo

A > Z of Thanks

Bonjour! I'm currently writing this whilst sat at my Granny's desk in her house (in France!)
A couple of days ago I picked up my third book of the French getaway holiday: Katie Piper's 'Things Get Better'. It's an awesome book so far; I'm at chapter 4 and loving every page.
A big theme in the book at the moment is positivity in the form of gratitude. I'd thought I'd give an A > Z of Thanks a try and I'd love to share it with you. I've found it so refreshing.
-----------------

A) Adventures (however big or small I can find adventure in everything and I'm so thankful for that)

B) Bibz-a-Libz (my cheeky monkey of a sister. She's so stunning and I'm grateful for her ability to laugh my pain away)

C) Church Family(I'm truly grateful for all of the people around me that have become my church family; they help me to keep faith when I'm feeling weak and celebrate with me when I'm feeling strong, thank you guys) 

D) Doctors (having sat with countless doctors throughout my life, from having vaccinations to discussing the ways to best deal with my Joint Hypermobility (JHS/EDS-JHT), I can truly say I'm extremely grateful for all of the advice and support that I have received) 

E) Emma (I'm so thankful for the giggles and surprises and waves that we share)

F) Family (cliché or not, they're my foundation and I'm so thankful to have three people that love me and that I love in my life)

G) Guitar (I'm extremely grateful that I can escape my problems for a while and strum at my guitar; it's awesomely soothing)

H) Hope For Justice (the injustice of human trafficking is forever on my heart. I'm really thankful for all that the guys over at Hope For Justice do, helping this world get one step closer to perfect) 

I) Independence (I'm grateful that I live in a country where woman are allowed to be independent and are treated with respect)

J) Joy (I'm extremely thankful for evenings and days filled with uncontrollable laughter and joy, and for the people that bring such joy into my life)

K) Knowledge (I'm thankful for the knowledge that has been passed onto me by teachers, friends and family throughout my life. I love that I have the opportunity to learn and to be educated)

L) Lampshade (the group chat name for some friends who I am so *jump-up-and-down-with-gratitude* grateful for) 

M) Maize (I'm so thankful for this awesome lady(!); she's a beautiful human being who helps me see beauty in everything) 

N) Nature (nature provides stunning scenery: from still lakes to harsh waterfalls, from sunrise to sunset. I'm so thankful for the beauty that I can find in nature all of the time) 

O) Orange Juice (freshly-squeezed, of course. I'm just so thankful for its amazing taste, haha!) 

P) Parents (I'm grateful for my lovely, gorgeous parents who love me eternally)

Q) Questions (I love asking questions, haha! I'll often be heard saying: 'Random Question.... ?' So I'm grateful for the conversation-openers that questions can become, funny and serious)

R) Rainbows (I absolutely adore rainbows. They're so pretty and they bring a smile to my face every time they pop up in the sky above me. For that I'm thankful) 

S) Skills (I'm thankful for the creative and logical skills that I've been blessed with and for the many that I will learn in the future; they make life all the more interesting and adventurous for me)

T) Tigger and Cinnamon (These are the names of my pretty cats. They give purrfect little cuddles!)

U) Unity (I'm thankful for the variety of friendship groups that I have the pleasure of being involved in, the sense of unity I feel with some individuals and groups is such a blessing)

V) Vision (I have such vision in life, I see things for what they can become and I get to dream BIG, for this I'm ever grateful)

W) Water (I love a good lake, a swimming pool, an ocean, the sea, beautiful cloud formations... without water none of these would exist)

X) Xenial-ity: hospitality, especially to visiting strangers or foreigners. Of the relation between a host and a guest; friendly. (I'm always so thankful for people who are welcoming and hospitable towards me and others) 

Y) Young people (Little minds can teach old souls so much! The innocent honesty of small children is so amazing to witness, whilst the bubbly energy of teenagers is infectious too)

Z) Zeal (People who are passionate about change always fuel my passion to create and see a better world. I'm thankful for these humans)

So many things to be happy for, and there's so much more. I look forward to being able to look back at this list on good and bad days to remind myself of a few happy things.

I'd really encourage you to do the same if you're reading this. It can be as detailed as you like. Get creative with the difficult letters and have a lot of fun!

Smile,

Amy xo

Faith, Trust, and Pixie Dust

Have you ever felt that gut-wrenching sickness after receiving a result that you didn't want?  I have. The time I got my theory test back as a fail. The time I was awarded 365 UMS in my media A-Level, after being promised more marks than I got, to find out that I needed 366 to reach the next grade up. The time I didn't get captain of my secondary school 'house'.

I'm guessing that some of these experiences resound in your memories. Those feelings of sickness swirl around your head and stomach. And in those moments what is it that you hold onto?  I feel my faith, grab a whole lot of trust, and remind myself that it will all be okay. That is, of course, after having a major toddler-tantrum, an "it's not fair" moment and a big cry. "...the Lord is trustworthy..." - 2 Thessalonians 3:3

See, something that I battle with every single day is waking up with a condition that I didn't ask for, that I didn't want and that, some days, I really don't feel strong enough to cope with. It's a condition that is there and that, for now, isn't leaving me alone. I've had to learn to make the best out of an unwelcome situation but that doesn't always make it easier. A little reminder that never fails to give me peace when I inhale the solid promise behind the words is:
"...and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him..." - Romans 8:28
When I find peace in a situation, it is only then that I find I'm able to pour love out over people. Practically where do I go when I feel that deep, aching loss?
I scream, I cry, I long for a different outcome,
I remember that my God is bigger,
I trust that He knows what He is doing,
and then I keep on trying to love people.
Sometimes it's the hardest thing to do to love the person who took something away from you, stole your award, stole your title, marked your paper low, taught you badly. And that doesn't get easier with time and practice. We do, however, have the God who is love on our side, cheering us on to love the world and the people in it.

So have faith, trust God, and sprinkle love everywhere that you go today, tomorrow, and always!
Amy xo

A Heart For Adventure🛩

Picture source: Google

Recently I've discovered that I have a big passion for adventure! A huge longing to explore new things, new places, new skills, new people.
It explains why, when sat at the job centre last Monday morning, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. There are so many things that I love doing and so many things that I have the skills to do. Sometimes these don't cross over, at least not for now, and that's more than okay. So I've spent the last week sorting out and discovering what I love and what I'm good at. With there being so many options, I don't want to end up stuck in once place forever, doing the same thing day in and day out. Every day of my life is destined to be an adventure.

Picture source: Google

It turns out that I love travelling. It's not something that I've never thought about in such depth before but it's definitely something that I love. From my trip to Mexico to build a house, to visiting my grandparents in France, to spending the day exploring new parts of a familiar beach - I love it all.
Just a few days ago a special friend took me out to London for an adventure to celebrate my birthday. All I knew was that I was to be at the station for 9.15am and that I needed to pack the usual items for the good old British weather - suncream, sunglasses, a raincoat - you get the idea.

We've always joked about finding a boat train after one of our friends accidentally exclaimed 'all aboard the boat train' instead of 'all aboard the banter train'. My first surprise of the day was travelling by boat to our next destination. It truly was a boat train through the centre of London! What more could a girl want?! We enjoyed a sunny picnic in the middle of Hyde Park - that was the next part of the surprise! And laughed in the pouring rain. What's amazing about adventures like this is that you just have no care in the world about the small things - the water-logged shoes, the soaking wet hair, the lack of sunshine. None of it matters because what matters most is the adventure being experienced with someone you love by your side.
So no matter where I end up and what I end up doing, I pray that it's full of adventure. I want to leave a sparkle wherever I go and I want to go to many places, whilst always having somewhere to call home, some people to call friends, and Jesus by my side.

Picture source: Google

That's all for now, Who knows what's coming around the bend!?
Amy xo