Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

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"If at first you don't succeed, fly, fly again" Someone asked me recently why I long to have children when I'm older. At that exact moment a young girl, about 2 years old, wobbled passed to run to her dad whilst giggling the cutest giggle. "See, how could you not want one of those?" I exclaimed. He replied that in reality kids are messy, annoying, stressful, dependent, and require a lot of effort and sleep sacrifice. I was stumped for an answer back to that. I left feeling a bit hard done by God that I was aching for something that could cause me so much stress for, supposedly, very little happiness. This guy doesn't have children himself and isn't against having children, he was just talking through some of his factual observations. As I processed this confusion for myself I was blessed to be spending the day with the most adorable 3 year old girl, F. Granted I didn't have to wake her up, wash her, get her dressed, make her breakfast, pack her a lunch, and keep her happy on the drive to the event all before 930am. But I did get the blessing of looking after her throughout the day! It was one of those blessings that you look back on and realise just how amazing life can be! The joy that F carries is indescribable because it is an untainted joy from God! I've recently found myself stuck in bed, in pain and too tired to do anything. I turned to trusty Netflix and found myself some encouraging films to watch. As tempting as those chick-flicks are, there's nothing that beats a U rated film featuring children who have such a strong spirit of determination! They are not tainted by the world.  Paper Planes, as pictured above, was one of the great films that I found - about a boy who keeps pushing on even when his dad loses interest, especially when his dad loses interest in fact! Kids use what discourages any normal adult to instead fuel them to strive for more! It's so beautiful!

Another film I found was called 'An American Girl: McKenna Shoots for the Stars'. I highly recommend this as a feel-good and motivating, yet easy-to-watch film - perfect for those days in bed where you cannot fathom doing anything beyond sitting and watching, and even that proves a chore. This film, about a girl who faces every stumbling block at once but triumphs and finds true friendship, is oozing wisdom. Children are full of great things - take some time to draw it into your own life - it's refreshingly fun - how would you feel if you suddenly start to find children's activities bring you the joy they brought back when you were young?
And that's why children are great - they're the closest they'll ever be on this earth to being who God made them as. Perfect. Children are the closest to perfect! Why wouldn't you want to hang out with them?!

I used to see fun, then I saw a plain slide, and now I see adventure again! #childmindsarebetterthanadultminds

I can't see that hashtag catching on, but maybe adults having more fun with the mundane will happen one day! Is it only children who can make a house out of a cardboard box? I don't think so! Until next time, I'll be chilling in my cardboard box house, Amy xo

Learn Not to Say Too Much

Imagine you're a 20 year old leader to children and you invest the next 25 years to working with children and youth... Then all of a sudden you decide one day that you need to retire/take a sabbatical. Church celebrates the 25 years of your volunteering with kids.  The original children that you taught are now old with their own children. Everyone shakes your hand to thank you. As this takes place each person says this: "There's one thing that you said to me that stuck with me..." "I need to thank you for one thing, you once said..." In that moment, what would you want that one thing to be? So, now, fast-forward to the end, discover what it is you want to stick, and then rewind and plan for that. Here's a phrase worth remembering and living by (or teaching by): "Teach less for more"

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You have a limited amount of time that you can invest in a child's life. You can expect about 40 hours a year can be invested in that child. Decide ahead of time what it is you would like to invest into them. What love and encouragement you want to pour out, decide from now. - All scripture is equally inspired by God. - - All scripture is not equally important. - Jesus answered the question about what the greatest piece of scripture is, opening the idea that scripture is prioritised. - All scripture is not equally applicable to every stage in life. - Take a moment to have a look at... What are the truths that all children need to know before they are 5? Before they go to Secondary School? Before they go to University? For me, these truths would perhaps go along the lines of: > Before a child is 5 they need to know they are important and loved. They need to be spoken to with eye contact to communicate these ideas. > Before a child goes to secondary school they need to know their identity in God. They need to know the holy spirit is inside of them and that God goes before them. > Before a child goes to university they need to know God's grace. They need to know that they are forgiven, always. And they need to know how to forgive. Make decisions about where you're going to use your time and what you're going to teach. Decide how you're going to say it, creatively. An example used in this podcast is about a girl who was taught a phrase by her church leaders one week and applied it to her own life, in turn drawing closer to God. Phrase: "If you don't make the wise choice, you'll miss out on what God wants to do" So the girl is visiting a friend, they are shopping. Her friend picks up some pretty beads and begins to steal them. The only thing the girl could think of was that 'if you don't make the wise choice, you'll miss out on what God wants you to do'. She said these words out loud to her friend. The friend was so taken aback that she put the beads back in the pot. When they went to pay, the cashier was wearing a necklace made of those beads and as they were paying for their goods, the girl exclaimed 'your necklace is so pretty' and the woman behind the counter said 'here, let me give you some of those beads'. This, of course, stuck with the child because it really became true that she chose the right choice and didn't miss out on what God wanted to do.
I feel the same phrase can be applied to teaching kids. We must make the wise choices of what to teach so that we may teach less and the children may learn more, therefore, they will not miss out on what God wants to do. This can put some pressure on children-church leaders to get it right and teach the perfect balance of stuff. It's not about getting it right, it's about reducing what you teach so that some things actually stick. This light pressure can be good though as it encourages leaders to carefully evaluate the truths of the Bible in study and reflection before 'teaching' the kids. Decide what you're going to say. Decide how you're going to say it.  Decide to say one thing at a time. If you watch 3 x 30sec commercials, you'll remember the last one. Our brains are built to disregard information in place of new information. So we need to focus on what it is that we want children to learn and stick to that for a while. Say that thing over and over again. There are certain truths and principles that you want to stick in their hearts and minds forever. Think of creative ways to go over the same ideas. Younger children love to be creative but some will be equally happy to sit and watch the same TV episode or film over and over again. This could be because it's filled with so much information that they forget what happens from the other times that they've watched it (just like watching 3 adverts and only remembering the last one). Perhaps we need to look at giving them less information each time, in creative ways, so that by the end they understand and know the truths that we are trying to teach to them.

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"Teach more for less impact or teach less for more impact." It's not about how much different stuff they know it's about how well they know the important stuff that will help them through life and adulthood. We need to have patience with children. There's a great article on teaching so that children talk more. Some of the ideas it explores are the importance of questions and the need for patience when letting a child work through a problem on their own. See the full article here.

Podcast Information: OrangeBlogs - Orange Leaders - Teach Less Amy xo

What's Orange and Tastes Like an Orange?

An Orange. And the church, of course. Well, perhaps the church doesn't taste like an orange unless you choose fruit over doughnuts in the coffee break or it's a Christingle service. But one thing is for sure: The church should look orange. I'm not talking about a congregation of Oompa Loopmas...

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I'm talking about a balance of love and light. Y e l l o w represents the light from the church and r e d represents the love from the church. Orange is a mixture of these two colours. The church should look orange. "Two combined influences make a greater impact than just one influence. Church and family on the same page." In the same way that light and love combined makes a greater influence, so does the combination of church and family. Where the church helps to influence whilst the family can influence even more during everyday life. Here are some claims: 1. "Nothing is more important than a person's relationship with God" 2. "No one has more potential to influence a child's relationship with God than the parent" - This is about an "every day faith kind of concept" not just "a Christian on a Sunday morning" 3. "No one has more potential to influence the parent than the church"
Here are some figures: 86% of parents believe they are responsible for their spiritual development of their child. This figure included secular parents. Over 90% of all parents believe that they have responsibility for their child's moral beliefs. 1 of 5 parents said the church did anything to help them be parents. Wow. Take a moment to begin to process the potential you can unlock by investing some time into the parents too. Willy Wonka Condescending memes are known for being really condescending...

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There's an element of truth in the thought that what parents teach children about their spirituality and their relationship with Jesus will stick with them for a life time. I don't like the term 'religion' but I can appreciate the value that time investment from parents can really shape a child's spiritual development. So, as a church, how are we helping parents? How are we helping them to be more involved and engaged in the child's spiritual relationship? When we engage with a child on a Sunday morning and send them home with a craft that the parent/guardian can talk about with them, we are helping God-centred conversations to go on at home. When we pray with the children on a Sunday morning, and ask them if they need prayer for anything, we are encouraging them to ask for help from a leader, or a parent/guardian, in the form of prayer. These examples are just small ripples in comparison to the big waves of impact that we could make if we invested some of our time into the parents, who in turn have 3000 hours a year to invest into their own children. IMPACT

How To Cover Your Child in Prayer

"If you determine to circle your children in prayer, you will shape their destinies... your prayers will live on in their lives long after you die" - Matt Batterson. Read the full article here. So prayer is one weapon that we can encourage parents to use to shape the spiritual lives of their child. Prayer with the child is important too. It sends a reminder to the children to do this with their children as they get older. "The churches potential to help the child dramatically increases when you help the parent" The majority of parents do not spend any time during the week teaching spiritually. God gave this responsibility to parents as something for them to do. They have the skills. "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" - Proverbs 22:6 "Make the things I'm commanding you today part of who you are. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you're sitting together at home and when you're walking together down the road. Make them the last thing you talk about before you go to bed and the first thing you talk about the next morning."  - Deuteronomy 6:6-7 "... so that God's people may be up to the task ahead and have all they need to accomplish every good work." - 2 Timothy 3:17 Get every parent to do something more than what they're already doing. Look at parents through a different filter: 1) They want a plan/system that will help them know how to pass on the information to their children 2) Give them models for these plans 3) They want to know what they can do right now, today, tomorrow. What's next? So, we need to, as church leaders: Help parents to know that they are qualified.  Parents wouldn't disregard their child's need for help on homework because they've not got a teaching qualification. They wouldn't stop helping the children take their medication because they're not a doctor. Church can help them to feel qualified.  Believe that they are spiritual leaders to their children. If the church believes that they can be spiritual leaders to their kids then they will start to believe it too. Invest time into helping parents with plans and ideas. The more suggestions we give, and help we provide the parents with, the more equipped they will feel to be a spiritual leader to their child. This has thrown a few ideas into the mix for me which I'm still processing. Ideas about a parent-child Sunday where each child group meets in a different room but with their parents present so that we can learn together about being spiritual at home. It's important for parents to see their child on a Sunday morning and vice-versa. So that both the parent and the child can be open about their own spirituality and, therefore, begin to support each other at home. It's not until I was much older that my mum and I began having conversations about spiritual things that I remembered because I came home and asked big questions. Perhaps if my mum had been encouraged more when I was younger we would have drawn alongside each other spiritually at an earlier time.  One way that this 'drawing closer spiritually' could be done is a simple addition to a normal routine. When a child creates something, such as a painting or sculpture, to ask the child what they think God is saying to them through that picture. To explore together what message of encouragement it holds.

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Podcast Information: OrangeBlogs - Orange Leaders 40.3000 Amy xo