How To Fly The Nest

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'T o   F l y   T h e   N e s t' - (Of a young bird) leave its nest on becoming able to fly. 1.1 informal (Of a young person) leave their parents' home to set up home elsewhere.

Having moved out almost a month ago, I've gained some fresh wisdom on leaving the nest. It's an adventurous task and one I chose to see as something really positive. I'm writing out some of my experiences in this post partly for your benefit but mostly for mine - so that I can look back and show my kids what I was up to! 
P a c k i n g: I began scribbling down a list of things I needed to pack just a few days before I left. Once I'd 'finished' the list I went to bed and woke up with 20,000 more items I'd forgotten to write down! It was a weird process deciding what I would need and realising how much stuff I use throughout the week. It was also the perfect opportunity to leave, at home, the stuff that I didn't use all that often, making my new room so much less crowded and easier to tidy! I packed my stuff into beautiful boxes which have become my storage in my new room. Eliminating the idea of 'living out of a suitcase' for a year!

T h e   M o v i n g   I n   D a y / W e e k: I met my host family on the Thursday, moved in on the Sunday, and started work on the Monday. I really had no time to panic, I had jumped in at the deep end and started to swim. All that was new was an adventure for me! Everything that got thrown at me that would usually make me panic, I chose to see as a new adventure: an opportunity to embrace something new. I chose to get excited and rejected worry; I was leaning fully on God.
This first week started very differently to my first week at my internship last year. This year I knew who I was and I went straight in as myself, not as shy as before because I know that God has chosen this place and season just for me. Last year I was constantly scared of not being 'liked' or 'accepted' that I cowered away so only a select few got to know me. I've learnt that that doesn't allow freedom to reign. So this year is a whole new ball game.
E n j o y i n g   T h e   R i d e: Two weeks were spent 'enjoying the ride': I made new friends, met loads of exciting and influential people, realised amazing connections, and embraced new activities. I tried a bit of an assembly ready for my first 'full assembly' in my third week. I got stuck in with after-school clubs and loved helping S in the office with the admin and organisation side of the charity. Totally content with the blissful journey I was on, I felt at 'home' already. 
(M e e t i n g)   K e y   P e o p l e:
You hear all of the time that a big life change shows you who your true friends are... But what if a big life change brings you key people? I'm still back in my 'hometown' every weekend seeing my good friends and making great memories. I have made use of the internet and kept in touch with so many friends. But I've also been blessed with some key people in my new town who are keeping me grounded. Big life changes don't eliminate friends, they add new ones!
A   S p a n n e r   I n   T h e   W o r k s:
Week three and four have thrown various things at me. My adrenaline levels have dropped causing the re-introduction of my high levels of fatigue and pain. I've visited the doctor about a problem that has progressed in my knee and been referred for an MRI. My amazing host family and I have come to the joint decision that it isn't right for me to stay here for now, so I will be moving out this weekend.

M o r e   A d v e n t u r e   A w a i t s:
Never a dull moment, I now have more adventures to get excited about!
* I'll be moving in with a colleague on Sunday night *
She is brilliant, has a lovely husband, a gorgeous dog, and a chilled out tortoise. I'll be staying there for a few weeks until somewhere more permanent is found for me.
* I'll be starting a course on youth mentoring *
* I'll be doing more assemblies with new people *
* We will start planning the Christmas Panto *
That's all for now!  A few ramblings about month number 1 in a new town,

Amy xo

The BIG Move!

So, I did it. I moved out.  ...sort of. Following a new job position, I have packed up and moved homes to a different town during the week. From Sunday night to Friday afternoon every week I will be at my new home, whilst coming back to see my family at weekends.

Image source: Google

If you were to tell me 5 years ago that this was coming I'd have run into my mummy's arms screaming 'please don't let me go!' In fact, if you'd have told me this 6 months ago I'm not sure that my reaction would have been too dissimilar from that! But still, here I am.
When I ponder how I ended up here, it's a pretty amazing story* (see the end of the post for the details). If you don't fancy reading the ins and outs of my 'adventurous' life then trust me when I say that so many loose ends have fused together this summer in an explosion of love, faith, and excitement!

Not only has there been a BIG move in terms of accommodation, town, and job, there has also been a BIG move of God in my heart and mind. I've felt so much peace, entirely God-given, and I feel so blessed to be able to enjoy this season after a few seasons of disappointment and grieving.
I have taken that leap of faith so now I am reaping the rewards and it's such a beautiful process. If you find yourself right now in a season of doubt, distress, and fear - fear not! For He is with you, He is laying the path out ahead of you. In fact, the path is already laid, slowly and bit-by-bit He is illuminating that path to you. Do you have the courage to take the next step?
NEVER let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. What's keeping you from playing the game?

Take it to God, ask Him for help, ask Him for the specifics! He's waiting to give you what you need, and He loves to hear you speak to Him. No prayer is silly! I prayed with my parents that I wouldn't see a spider when looking around my new home and bedroom last week. Lo and behold I saw no spiders, and my first 36 hours here were spider free! When one joined me at work today, I was totally cool with it and let him sit on the beam next to me all day! If that's not a God-given peace then I don't know what is! Keep on asking and keep on trusting! Keep the faith. You can do this; He loves and cares for you.
Here's to many happy memories and encouraging challenges and so much joy!


* the ever-so-slightly-longer-and-more-explanatory story:
Born Started going to summer kids camps every year as a leader's child Got a sister Went to nursery Moved house Started school Attended Girl's Brigade Went to church Became house captain in year 6 Went as a youth to the summer kids camp, in my own dorm Started secondary school Moved church Started youth group Helped out with school community production/panto (4 years running) Started doing more talks at youth group Ran a charity campaign at school resulting in a 1000 balloon launch Spoke in assemblies at school Got baptised Took my GCSEs Got a piece of art selected for exhibition Became an older junior youth leader (helping to run clubs) Took my A-levels Ran a summer youth camp (4 day event) Became deputy community captain Ran the community panto show set design! A year-long internship: kids and youth work Ran another summer youth event (one whole day) Started up monthly youth worship nights (June 2016 onwards) Approached by my new work place Moved out Started my new job
My new job includes: running after-school clubs, running assemblies, youth mentoring, preparing Christmas panto (inc. set design), planning and being a leader at the summer kids camp (week long), doing prayer spaces in schools (arty space + prayer).
If you have a look at what I've done and what I'm now doing, you'll see that so many of my skills and so much of my experience is being utilised this year and for that I am so excited! There's so much more I could mention too; many more of my interests and hobbies come into play in my job for this academic year.

Yay! Be blessed, 
Amy xo

It's time to shine

Orbit Advert 2016

I was really uncertain whether to write and explore this blog post, let alone publish it. But in that indecisive moment I saw a chewing gum advert. "It's time to shine" boomed out from the TV. So, here I am. *I have no idea what chewing gum has to do with shining a light, though?*

Basically, this post is about my face. Read on. Over the past year, in particular the past 4 months, I've seen a real shift in my thought patterns towards my face. To give some context and explanation I'm going to use some examples. 2015: *wakes up for school*, *sees face in mirror*, *can't bare to look*, *covers it in make up*, *checks out face in mirror*, *thinks 'decent'*, *goes to school* Late 2015: *wakes up for school*, *too tired to look in mirror and put on face*, *goes to school*, *gets asked if I'm ill because I look really pale*, *wishes I put make up on*, *feels sad*

Image source: Google

Early 2016: *wakes up for work*, *sees face in mirror*, *thinks I'm doing the world a favour by covering up those bags under my eyes*, *puts make up on*, *feels like that was a lot of effort*, *envies the majority of the male species for not needing make up*, *goes to work* Late 2016: *wakes up for work*, *doesn't even look in mirror*, *goes to work*, *feels happy* Where did the shift happen?! Somewhere in 2016 I stopped seeing my face for all its flaws and started loving it for what it is. I've got a young face - granted I still get IDed for Strepsils, and they triple check my ID in Spoons, but when I'm 50 and looking 30 I'll be glad of it! At least I don't look old enough to get stopped in the streets to take surveys yet!

The point I'm really trying to get down to is that just a year ago I had so much dislike for my face and now I'm full of love for it! It's a fabulous feeling. From an artistic perspective I still love, love, love plastering my face in make-up and subtly contouring it into a different shape, adding eyeliner and finishing with lipstick until I reach Barbie status.

I absolutely love the 'imagination, life is your creation' line in Barbie's song. Life is all about imagining and creating! And something great about make up is the opportunity to imagine and create art on a real life face - it's art that moves and speaks.
I found very little freedom in forcing myself to wear make up every day, however. It became a time-consuming, mundane, unimaginative experience every morning. I was starting the day conforming to what I thought pleased others: a face with the least amount of flaws possible. But what I really owe the world is a happy face! A face that beams joy and light. At the moment I'm happiest without make up on when I'm out and about. I feel more myself and I'm without the added worry that an itchy eye will cause a smudged wing. I wish I knew the perfect formula for what shifted inside of me. I can only pinpoint it to an amazing God who created this face in the first place and an encouraging friend who speaks truth from her lips. She tells me I'm beautiful until I believe it, helps me to love myself when I'm not feeling it, and shows me I'm great when I don't see it. If you're fortunate enough to have one of these friends, hold on to him or her! Perhaps you are that friend to some people - keep going. If not, I'm telling you right now, yes you the one reading this, that you are beautiful in every single way! You were created by an almighty creator who doesn't make mistakes. You are amazing.  Read it until you believe it. It's true. You're so stunning. On Saturday night last week I went out to a party. With it being a party, we got dressed up, and I decided I was feeling creative. So I did my hair and make up. As soon as the make up was on, I wanted to take it off. I'd made the art, created something new, loved it, and then wanted my real face back. The face I had been wearing for the last 3 months was now hiding!  Upon returning from the party I was so happy to wash my face! It was one of the best feelings.

Saturday night's 'artwork'

Clean face, happy face

Please don't get me wrong here: if you wear make up and it's who you are then that's awesome! We love that about you too! If you don't wear make up and don't enjoy doing make up either and that's who you are, that's great! We love that about you too! See, we're all different. It turns out that wearing make-up isn't for me, in my life, right now. Contrary to what I thought it isn't even part of who I am. I'm much happier now that I've been encouraged to fall in love with my bare face. I think that's about it for now,  Amy xo

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

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"If at first you don't succeed, fly, fly again" Someone asked me recently why I long to have children when I'm older. At that exact moment a young girl, about 2 years old, wobbled passed to run to her dad whilst giggling the cutest giggle. "See, how could you not want one of those?" I exclaimed. He replied that in reality kids are messy, annoying, stressful, dependent, and require a lot of effort and sleep sacrifice. I was stumped for an answer back to that. I left feeling a bit hard done by God that I was aching for something that could cause me so much stress for, supposedly, very little happiness. This guy doesn't have children himself and isn't against having children, he was just talking through some of his factual observations. As I processed this confusion for myself I was blessed to be spending the day with the most adorable 3 year old girl, F. Granted I didn't have to wake her up, wash her, get her dressed, make her breakfast, pack her a lunch, and keep her happy on the drive to the event all before 930am. But I did get the blessing of looking after her throughout the day! It was one of those blessings that you look back on and realise just how amazing life can be! The joy that F carries is indescribable because it is an untainted joy from God! I've recently found myself stuck in bed, in pain and too tired to do anything. I turned to trusty Netflix and found myself some encouraging films to watch. As tempting as those chick-flicks are, there's nothing that beats a U rated film featuring children who have such a strong spirit of determination! They are not tainted by the world.  Paper Planes, as pictured above, was one of the great films that I found - about a boy who keeps pushing on even when his dad loses interest, especially when his dad loses interest in fact! Kids use what discourages any normal adult to instead fuel them to strive for more! It's so beautiful!

Another film I found was called 'An American Girl: McKenna Shoots for the Stars'. I highly recommend this as a feel-good and motivating, yet easy-to-watch film - perfect for those days in bed where you cannot fathom doing anything beyond sitting and watching, and even that proves a chore. This film, about a girl who faces every stumbling block at once but triumphs and finds true friendship, is oozing wisdom. Children are full of great things - take some time to draw it into your own life - it's refreshingly fun - how would you feel if you suddenly start to find children's activities bring you the joy they brought back when you were young?
And that's why children are great - they're the closest they'll ever be on this earth to being who God made them as. Perfect. Children are the closest to perfect! Why wouldn't you want to hang out with them?!

I used to see fun, then I saw a plain slide, and now I see adventure again! #childmindsarebetterthanadultminds

I can't see that hashtag catching on, but maybe adults having more fun with the mundane will happen one day! Is it only children who can make a house out of a cardboard box? I don't think so! Until next time, I'll be chilling in my cardboard box house, Amy xo

It's all about the small stuff

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Some cool things are happening and I don't quite know what to make of it all!

Recently, every now and then, I've been having moments of increased sensitivity. Really strange moments. 
One night last week I felt a twinge in my back left shoulder whilst at Fortify, a Christian youth event. I approached the microphone and explained the sensation which had disappeared as quickly as it had entered my back. I had no response until the next day when a friend text me saying she had that exact pain. I threw a quick prayer up to God and took authority over the pain in Jesus' name. The next text I received, hours later, was telling me that the pain went and never came back - she hadn't text earlier because it felt so back-to-normal that she had forgotten the pain was there in the first place!!!! So amazing! This has happened before: a moment where I 'feel' pain and someone near me has that pain, we pray and it goes. Therefore, this particular incident didn't come as a big surprise to me, but filled me with an ever-increasing excitement that God reigns over all pain.
Some newer and more interesting moments of sensitivity are starting to occur and I'm really excited whilst being a little bit nervous to see what happens next on this little (or big!) journey with God.
Earlier today I was sat eating lunch with my dad. As I tucked into my sandwich I felt an overwhelming sense of faint-ness. I didn't feel quite in-the-room. I pondered on the feeling for a while and then put it down to a sudden, miniature wave of anxiety. What happened next baffled me... A girl at the counter staggered backwards and fell against the chair next to me, before being helped to her feet by her friends. As I turned to check she was okay, I saw her body limp in her friend's arms. She had fainted. She was lowered to the ground, feet up in the air, and she came to. We left at that moment; too many people in the small shop would only worsen that situation. 
There are a few things worth noting: 1) She staggered backwards. If she had fallen from the position she was in she would have hit her head on a sharp edge of the table or chair behind her. But she didn't fall straight away, she staggered, which gave her friends enough reaction time to catch her and prevented her from cracking her head and neck. This is an amazing 'mini miracle'. I can't help wonder if myself and my dad being there, and Holy Spirit living inside of us, helped prevent such an awful accident from happening. It certainly is thanks to God that the girl left unharmed. 2) I had a brief moment of feeling faint minutes before she fainted just a meter away from me. The more I think about this, the more I am realising I have been having these moments a lot. What I am now calling 'increased sensitivity' moments have been slipping into my life, subtly. As I pass people by I feel things differently - change of vision, change of senses, change of the way I walk. I want to start exploring what this means! Is God revealing these pains and illnesses to me so that I can pray out loud with the person experiencing these pains? Should I mutter a prayer as I pass by? Or I can pray blessings and healing for them in my head?
I'm full of questions and excited about a new adventure! 
Until next time, 
Amy xo

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Moonlit Adventures

Since the last time I wrote (which was my A>Z of Thanks) I've spent my days trying to be more positive. I can feel a shift happening and I can feel that the more I focus on the positive, the happier I feel and the happier I feel people are feeling when they are around me. I had gotten myself into this negative spiral of being unhappy which was I felt was making other people feel unhappy so I was more unhappy, etc. My usual tact to making myself feel happier is to lift someone else up, do something for them and see them happy - that's what fuels me! So seeing people unhappy and thinking that I was always the cause and feeling like I couldn't do anything to help was de-fuelling me to the max! Little did I know that I needed to start with me and start working through some negativities: Why does it upset me? Can I do anything to make it better? Is it worth worrying about? Being open with myself about my feelings has meant that I can feel happiness a whole lot more and I know a lot more about what will make me happy! That is something that I never want to lose.

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On Thursday night I sat in the car as mum drove me passed the edge of the beach on our way to visit my sister. This was a spontaneous trip and one that required very little energy (my family are quite forgiving on days when I'm in a lot of pain and have just a small amount of energy, thank you guys!). As we drove passed the sea wall, I pictured what lay behind: A long strip of pebbles that turned into soft, fine sand further down the beach; the sea lapping at the shore line, rolling pebbles back and forth; the sunset reflecting off everything that it could: the sand, the pebbles, the sea, the boats. I couldn't help myself and I exclaimed to my mum 'do you know what I really wanna do one day?!' *pause* 'I want to sit on the beach with some friends as the sun goes down and wait until it's completely dark before going for a swim!' She thought I was crazy, and so did I... until last night.  Yesterday I played golf with some friends to celebrate JP's birthday. We chose the driving the range as the activity for the afternoon. 

Photo credit: MT

Following our little golfing experience we headed back to my house for fajitas and profiteroles before we were due to meet more friends at the pub at 8pm. It was here that someone exclaimed we should go to the beach after we've been to the pub. Initially I was not game, I definitely wanted sleep more than I wanted an adventure. But it was JP's birthday after all and he got the final say. The pub gathering was a lot of fun! It was poo-stories-galore! With a nurse and a nursery worker sat around the table with us, we heard of some interesting experiences. As the pub gathering drew to a close, we said our goodbyes, hid JP's car, and continued laughing as we went our separate ways. For some, they headed home. For the 6 of us, the night was just beginning. The sun had set and the moon and stars were out. A quick drive down the road, whilst singing along to All Sons and Daughters, landed us at our nearest pebbled beach. There are no words for what happened next! It hit midnight and we went swimming, in the sea! The water was warmer than expected, calmer than anticipated, and more fun that I could ever describe! The only light source, bar a couple of dim streetlamps, was the moon's solid reflection on the water. Thank goodness MS decided not to swim. She grabbed our hoodies and keys as the tide came in and moved them out of the water's path. If you've never been swimming in the sea at midnight, or when it's dark for that matter, do it! Add it to your Adventure List, or your Bucket List, or every single list you ever make. Just make sure you do it one day!

Post-swim selfie

We dried off and drove off, but we weren't going home just yet. We went up onto the hills and sat in the cars, in the quiet. Processing what had just happened and enjoying the calm euphoria that had overwhelmed us all. Amy xo

A > Z of Thanks

Bonjour! I'm currently writing this whilst sat at my Granny's desk in her house (in France!)
A couple of days ago I picked up my third book of the French getaway holiday: Katie Piper's 'Things Get Better'. It's an awesome book so far; I'm at chapter 4 and loving every page.
A big theme in the book at the moment is positivity in the form of gratitude. I'd thought I'd give an A > Z of Thanks a try and I'd love to share it with you. I've found it so refreshing.
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A) Adventures (however big or small I can find adventure in everything and I'm so thankful for that)

B) Bibz-a-Libz (my cheeky monkey of a sister. She's so stunning and I'm grateful for her ability to laugh my pain away)

C) Church Family(I'm truly grateful for all of the people around me that have become my church family; they help me to keep faith when I'm feeling weak and celebrate with me when I'm feeling strong, thank you guys) 

D) Doctors (having sat with countless doctors throughout my life, from having vaccinations to discussing the ways to best deal with my Joint Hypermobility (JHS/EDS-JHT), I can truly say I'm extremely grateful for all of the advice and support that I have received) 

E) Emma (I'm so thankful for the giggles and surprises and waves that we share)

F) Family (cliché or not, they're my foundation and I'm so thankful to have three people that love me and that I love in my life)

G) Guitar (I'm extremely grateful that I can escape my problems for a while and strum at my guitar; it's awesomely soothing)

H) Hope For Justice (the injustice of human trafficking is forever on my heart. I'm really thankful for all that the guys over at Hope For Justice do, helping this world get one step closer to perfect) 

I) Independence (I'm grateful that I live in a country where woman are allowed to be independent and are treated with respect)

J) Joy (I'm extremely thankful for evenings and days filled with uncontrollable laughter and joy, and for the people that bring such joy into my life)

K) Knowledge (I'm thankful for the knowledge that has been passed onto me by teachers, friends and family throughout my life. I love that I have the opportunity to learn and to be educated)

L) Lampshade (the group chat name for some friends who I am so *jump-up-and-down-with-gratitude* grateful for) 

M) Maize (I'm so thankful for this awesome lady(!); she's a beautiful human being who helps me see beauty in everything) 

N) Nature (nature provides stunning scenery: from still lakes to harsh waterfalls, from sunrise to sunset. I'm so thankful for the beauty that I can find in nature all of the time) 

O) Orange Juice (freshly-squeezed, of course. I'm just so thankful for its amazing taste, haha!) 

P) Parents (I'm grateful for my lovely, gorgeous parents who love me eternally)

Q) Questions (I love asking questions, haha! I'll often be heard saying: 'Random Question.... ?' So I'm grateful for the conversation-openers that questions can become, funny and serious)

R) Rainbows (I absolutely adore rainbows. They're so pretty and they bring a smile to my face every time they pop up in the sky above me. For that I'm thankful) 

S) Skills (I'm thankful for the creative and logical skills that I've been blessed with and for the many that I will learn in the future; they make life all the more interesting and adventurous for me)

T) Tigger and Cinnamon (These are the names of my pretty cats. They give purrfect little cuddles!)

U) Unity (I'm thankful for the variety of friendship groups that I have the pleasure of being involved in, the sense of unity I feel with some individuals and groups is such a blessing)

V) Vision (I have such vision in life, I see things for what they can become and I get to dream BIG, for this I'm ever grateful)

W) Water (I love a good lake, a swimming pool, an ocean, the sea, beautiful cloud formations... without water none of these would exist)

X) Xenial-ity: hospitality, especially to visiting strangers or foreigners. Of the relation between a host and a guest; friendly. (I'm always so thankful for people who are welcoming and hospitable towards me and others) 

Y) Young people (Little minds can teach old souls so much! The innocent honesty of small children is so amazing to witness, whilst the bubbly energy of teenagers is infectious too)

Z) Zeal (People who are passionate about change always fuel my passion to create and see a better world. I'm thankful for these humans)

So many things to be happy for, and there's so much more. I look forward to being able to look back at this list on good and bad days to remind myself of a few happy things.

I'd really encourage you to do the same if you're reading this. It can be as detailed as you like. Get creative with the difficult letters and have a lot of fun!

Smile,

Amy xo