It's time to shine

Orbit Advert 2016

I was really uncertain whether to write and explore this blog post, let alone publish it. But in that indecisive moment I saw a chewing gum advert. "It's time to shine" boomed out from the TV. So, here I am. *I have no idea what chewing gum has to do with shining a light, though?*

Basically, this post is about my face. Read on. Over the past year, in particular the past 4 months, I've seen a real shift in my thought patterns towards my face. To give some context and explanation I'm going to use some examples. 2015: *wakes up for school*, *sees face in mirror*, *can't bare to look*, *covers it in make up*, *checks out face in mirror*, *thinks 'decent'*, *goes to school* Late 2015: *wakes up for school*, *too tired to look in mirror and put on face*, *goes to school*, *gets asked if I'm ill because I look really pale*, *wishes I put make up on*, *feels sad*

Image source: Google

Early 2016: *wakes up for work*, *sees face in mirror*, *thinks I'm doing the world a favour by covering up those bags under my eyes*, *puts make up on*, *feels like that was a lot of effort*, *envies the majority of the male species for not needing make up*, *goes to work* Late 2016: *wakes up for work*, *doesn't even look in mirror*, *goes to work*, *feels happy* Where did the shift happen?! Somewhere in 2016 I stopped seeing my face for all its flaws and started loving it for what it is. I've got a young face - granted I still get IDed for Strepsils, and they triple check my ID in Spoons, but when I'm 50 and looking 30 I'll be glad of it! At least I don't look old enough to get stopped in the streets to take surveys yet!

The point I'm really trying to get down to is that just a year ago I had so much dislike for my face and now I'm full of love for it! It's a fabulous feeling. From an artistic perspective I still love, love, love plastering my face in make-up and subtly contouring it into a different shape, adding eyeliner and finishing with lipstick until I reach Barbie status.

I absolutely love the 'imagination, life is your creation' line in Barbie's song. Life is all about imagining and creating! And something great about make up is the opportunity to imagine and create art on a real life face - it's art that moves and speaks.
I found very little freedom in forcing myself to wear make up every day, however. It became a time-consuming, mundane, unimaginative experience every morning. I was starting the day conforming to what I thought pleased others: a face with the least amount of flaws possible. But what I really owe the world is a happy face! A face that beams joy and light. At the moment I'm happiest without make up on when I'm out and about. I feel more myself and I'm without the added worry that an itchy eye will cause a smudged wing. I wish I knew the perfect formula for what shifted inside of me. I can only pinpoint it to an amazing God who created this face in the first place and an encouraging friend who speaks truth from her lips. She tells me I'm beautiful until I believe it, helps me to love myself when I'm not feeling it, and shows me I'm great when I don't see it. If you're fortunate enough to have one of these friends, hold on to him or her! Perhaps you are that friend to some people - keep going. If not, I'm telling you right now, yes you the one reading this, that you are beautiful in every single way! You were created by an almighty creator who doesn't make mistakes. You are amazing.  Read it until you believe it. It's true. You're so stunning. On Saturday night last week I went out to a party. With it being a party, we got dressed up, and I decided I was feeling creative. So I did my hair and make up. As soon as the make up was on, I wanted to take it off. I'd made the art, created something new, loved it, and then wanted my real face back. The face I had been wearing for the last 3 months was now hiding!  Upon returning from the party I was so happy to wash my face! It was one of the best feelings.

Saturday night's 'artwork'

Clean face, happy face

Please don't get me wrong here: if you wear make up and it's who you are then that's awesome! We love that about you too! If you don't wear make up and don't enjoy doing make up either and that's who you are, that's great! We love that about you too! See, we're all different. It turns out that wearing make-up isn't for me, in my life, right now. Contrary to what I thought it isn't even part of who I am. I'm much happier now that I've been encouraged to fall in love with my bare face. I think that's about it for now,  Amy xo

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Image source: Google

"If at first you don't succeed, fly, fly again" Someone asked me recently why I long to have children when I'm older. At that exact moment a young girl, about 2 years old, wobbled passed to run to her dad whilst giggling the cutest giggle. "See, how could you not want one of those?" I exclaimed. He replied that in reality kids are messy, annoying, stressful, dependent, and require a lot of effort and sleep sacrifice. I was stumped for an answer back to that. I left feeling a bit hard done by God that I was aching for something that could cause me so much stress for, supposedly, very little happiness. This guy doesn't have children himself and isn't against having children, he was just talking through some of his factual observations. As I processed this confusion for myself I was blessed to be spending the day with the most adorable 3 year old girl, F. Granted I didn't have to wake her up, wash her, get her dressed, make her breakfast, pack her a lunch, and keep her happy on the drive to the event all before 930am. But I did get the blessing of looking after her throughout the day! It was one of those blessings that you look back on and realise just how amazing life can be! The joy that F carries is indescribable because it is an untainted joy from God! I've recently found myself stuck in bed, in pain and too tired to do anything. I turned to trusty Netflix and found myself some encouraging films to watch. As tempting as those chick-flicks are, there's nothing that beats a U rated film featuring children who have such a strong spirit of determination! They are not tainted by the world.  Paper Planes, as pictured above, was one of the great films that I found - about a boy who keeps pushing on even when his dad loses interest, especially when his dad loses interest in fact! Kids use what discourages any normal adult to instead fuel them to strive for more! It's so beautiful!

Another film I found was called 'An American Girl: McKenna Shoots for the Stars'. I highly recommend this as a feel-good and motivating, yet easy-to-watch film - perfect for those days in bed where you cannot fathom doing anything beyond sitting and watching, and even that proves a chore. This film, about a girl who faces every stumbling block at once but triumphs and finds true friendship, is oozing wisdom. Children are full of great things - take some time to draw it into your own life - it's refreshingly fun - how would you feel if you suddenly start to find children's activities bring you the joy they brought back when you were young?
And that's why children are great - they're the closest they'll ever be on this earth to being who God made them as. Perfect. Children are the closest to perfect! Why wouldn't you want to hang out with them?!

I used to see fun, then I saw a plain slide, and now I see adventure again! #childmindsarebetterthanadultminds

I can't see that hashtag catching on, but maybe adults having more fun with the mundane will happen one day! Is it only children who can make a house out of a cardboard box? I don't think so! Until next time, I'll be chilling in my cardboard box house, Amy xo

It's all about the small stuff

Image source: Google

Some cool things are happening and I don't quite know what to make of it all!

Recently, every now and then, I've been having moments of increased sensitivity. Really strange moments. 
One night last week I felt a twinge in my back left shoulder whilst at Fortify, a Christian youth event. I approached the microphone and explained the sensation which had disappeared as quickly as it had entered my back. I had no response until the next day when a friend text me saying she had that exact pain. I threw a quick prayer up to God and took authority over the pain in Jesus' name. The next text I received, hours later, was telling me that the pain went and never came back - she hadn't text earlier because it felt so back-to-normal that she had forgotten the pain was there in the first place!!!! So amazing! This has happened before: a moment where I 'feel' pain and someone near me has that pain, we pray and it goes. Therefore, this particular incident didn't come as a big surprise to me, but filled me with an ever-increasing excitement that God reigns over all pain.
Some newer and more interesting moments of sensitivity are starting to occur and I'm really excited whilst being a little bit nervous to see what happens next on this little (or big!) journey with God.
Earlier today I was sat eating lunch with my dad. As I tucked into my sandwich I felt an overwhelming sense of faint-ness. I didn't feel quite in-the-room. I pondered on the feeling for a while and then put it down to a sudden, miniature wave of anxiety. What happened next baffled me... A girl at the counter staggered backwards and fell against the chair next to me, before being helped to her feet by her friends. As I turned to check she was okay, I saw her body limp in her friend's arms. She had fainted. She was lowered to the ground, feet up in the air, and she came to. We left at that moment; too many people in the small shop would only worsen that situation. 
There are a few things worth noting: 1) She staggered backwards. If she had fallen from the position she was in she would have hit her head on a sharp edge of the table or chair behind her. But she didn't fall straight away, she staggered, which gave her friends enough reaction time to catch her and prevented her from cracking her head and neck. This is an amazing 'mini miracle'. I can't help wonder if myself and my dad being there, and Holy Spirit living inside of us, helped prevent such an awful accident from happening. It certainly is thanks to God that the girl left unharmed. 2) I had a brief moment of feeling faint minutes before she fainted just a meter away from me. The more I think about this, the more I am realising I have been having these moments a lot. What I am now calling 'increased sensitivity' moments have been slipping into my life, subtly. As I pass people by I feel things differently - change of vision, change of senses, change of the way I walk. I want to start exploring what this means! Is God revealing these pains and illnesses to me so that I can pray out loud with the person experiencing these pains? Should I mutter a prayer as I pass by? Or I can pray blessings and healing for them in my head?
I'm full of questions and excited about a new adventure! 
Until next time, 
Amy xo

Image source: Google