Tuesday 1 January 2019

Self Care

"Self care can be about putting yourself out to look out for yourself."


Last night, at 2.19am on New Year's Day, I lay in bed ready to sleep for so many hours. As I tried to fall asleep, though, I noticed that I was ever so slightly too cold. Warm enough that I could easily fall asleep but cool enough that if the temperature stayed that way most of the night I could be waking up in a lot of pain. I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome: Hypermobility Type (in simple terms, my muscles have to work very hard to keep my joints in place where my ligaments don't do a great job) and I get quite cold very easily. When my body is cold, my already over-worked, tired muscles tense up. Usually this leads to knots and nerve pain. So, you get the equation: cold body + tired muscles = tense tired muscles = pain. Sometimes that pain lasts a day, other times it lasts weeks and months (or until I get a massage)!  So, laying in bed that night I had two options: 1 - lay there and continue to fall asleep, knowing that I might wake up with pain that lasts a couple of weeks, or 2 - pull myself out of bed, set up my heated blanket and then get comfortable again. At the time option 1 was the easiest option going. I was already comfy, I didn't feel uncomfortably cold, and both my brain and body were ready to drift off to sleep instantaneously - my chronic fatigue craved all the sleep I could get. But I chose option 2. I chose self care. I didn't choose to give myself what I wanted in the moment: to drift straight off to sleep. I chose to give myself what I needed: warmth, better quality sleep and less pain. To achieve this, I had to get out of bed (despite my sleepy head's protest) and be intentional about caring for myself.


This concept is still inspiring me. Self care can be about putting yourself out to look out for yourself. If I knew of a small act of kindness I could do for someone that would improve their day, week or month, I'd probably jump at the chance. But when it comes to acts of kindness for myself, I'm not too certain I'd be as eager to put myself out in order to put myself first. I deserve to be looked after, especially by myself. And you deserve to be looked after by you too. 

This year, 2019, I want to be more intentional about caring for myself. Sometimes that means making decisions based on what I need and not what I want. Sometimes that means making decisions based on what I want and not what others want of me. All of the time it's about enabling me to be the best me because a me that's caring for herself is a me that's ready to be there when others need her and a me that's ready to be there for herself too.


What are you wanting to be intentional about this year?

Amy xo


 


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